It has been a long while since I have updated this, but I have just not had a whole lot to talk about for the month of December. Plain and simple.
It is coming on the end of a year, welcoming in 2013 with a new family in a new city, and starting fresh with all kinds of new things. It seems time for some reflection with the new year coming upon us; I guess my life thus far has been a constant stream of perpetual and curious change. If I had to boil down my thoughts down to one word I would say the word is "change". I think that every year since my first year of college has been a different one, usually new friends, or classes, but more recently a series of new life altering changes and events.
Now obviously I am speaking about the changes that have occurred within the last few months, but also the many changes that I am probably going to be experiencing in this new and upcoming year. I mean this is the theme of my life, so I might as well keep the cycle going. I don't look for the changes, they seem to look for me, and I just learn that I need to accept when they show themselves. I think the most interesting aspect of the change in my life is how much I have grown from these experiences of change. Growth would be then next word to describe at least the past few months; I feel like that is all I have been doing since I came down here to New Orleans. And I don't mean just maturation of myself, but my way of thinking is maturing, my spirituality has grown, I am growing in understanding my sexuality more, and in fact I seem to be learning something new about myself at least once a week. I know that when I say that people ask, what changes have you been noticing lately, well one that I noticed recently, is that I am very capable of living hundreds of miles away from my parents and be able to take almost complete care of myself.
Independence is something that I have always valued in my life, and I told my mom as they were driving me to the airport to come back to NOLA. I have always been wanting to move away from home, I have never wanted to live in Erie Pennsylvania for the rest of my life. I wasn't expecting to move all the way to New Orleans Louisiana, but God works in mysterious ways. Honestly I have no idea where the next point in my life will be. I could be doing another year of volunteer work, or I could be just working for real, or a I could be starting Grad school. I am very open to any of the options I just presented.
I was thinking about what I wanted to see happen in this upcoming year, and I figured I want to see at least four things to happen; 1) I want to be in a stable job (even if it is a volunteer position) 2) I want to be living in New Orleans somewhere 3) I want to be sitting in Starbucks next year at this time having and living with a boyfriend 4) I want to still be doing something that I am passionate about.
I know that these are oddly specific, or maybe they are even just a bit vague, but I would like it if all of those could happen in some form or another. I am not asking to settle down, I am just asking that I have some of those happening. I would also to be working harder in my current job position, making more of a long term impact on what I am doing, making the most of what I am doing right now. I think this is a good thing for me, and I would love it if I could be making more of an impact than I am making now. I think that it would be cool to be doing something like this again, if the opportunity presents itself, I am not one to plan out my life (we all know this by now, how could I have planned this?) I am aware that I can't mature fully, but I am enjoying the growing up that I am doing so far, as scary as it is sometimes, I don't mind doing it on occasion.
Well I think that is enough reflection/rambling for now, I think I will leave this post off for now.
Happy New Year Y'all!! It is a new season, and a new time, welcome to 2013!
Peace!
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